Now?

Is it time yet? What is the allowable time? Do I just silently let it die or send notices of the demise? Yeah, I do not know the proper protocol either. All I know is that our romance was better than our relationship.

Do you feel this way, too? There was a certain excitement leading to it, and the day we were officially married, it felt delicious, with energy, hope, commitment, and even comfort in our decision.

Now, just days since we began, I think it’s over. I know it is over. I do not even look in that direction anymore, and I do not want to wake up in the same room, much less get up and do anything together.

You’ve been there. You know what I mean. You feel, or have felt, what I am feeling. I am done with Res. I haven’t filed for divorce, but we are officially separated as of today.

Why? Because it’s not what I thought it would be. It is anything but enjoyable, positive, and comfortable.

It’s over. I will never make another New Year’s Resolution again. I mean it this time.

Have you ever made an NYR and then have it become a DNR (do not resuscitate)?

Why do you think that is? You are right, no matter what your specific answer. There are as many reasons as there are humans. But, if we look at things from a different angle, we can never try to create a relationship with them again.

No one has ever made an NYR for a destructive outcome, or at least I hope not. We make these lofty declarations of intention for our betterment. Whatever the proposed outcome, we want change, a shift, a result, and progressive goodness. But they are, by and large, failed relationships between our desire and our do.

In his book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People,

Stephen Covey outlines a mindset perspective

that can serve us well. However, it is not filled with new ideas; it is a reiteration of the eternal wisdom of our Creator in the ancient texts of Scripture.

Today, I would like to deal with the first two. First, be proactive (may I add, instead of reactive), and second, begin with the end in mind.

Be Proactive.

Most NYRs are reactive. You see, feel, experience, and know something is awry or out of sync for your life, but addressing weakness is never a way to move ahead.

Building on your strength, which begins with discovering your ultimate purpose, is the best living experience for your best impact in the world. Don’t negate or minimize yourself; you were born for significance, impact, service, love, and great value to the community of humanity.

As you may know, I follow Jesus and the way of Jesus. He is the preeminent practical human. There has never been a more effective human who was more proactive than Jesus and guided by a vision of the end in mind.

Begin with the End in Mind

As followers of the way of Jesus, we live with intention and proactivity because eternity is planted in our hearts. When we consider that life is not about the here and now, but about an eternal purpose, we make decisions based on a higher dimension of realization. This empowers us to live from the inside out, from the God-vision of our lives, and not simply from our circumstances. We do not have to make NYRs in order to have a better experience of circumstances. We have an eternal vision (the culmination) that guides how we live our lives for maximum impact.

We are PROACTIVE. We make intention our energy engine instead of harmful or unwanted conditions. We do it to be our most powerful and make the most lasting impact. That frees us from reacting to this or that problem we encounter. It also frees us to change our habits by proactively choosing our best rhythms to enhance our purpose. We don’t focus on overcoming a habit that has led to an undesirable outcome, but we focus on doing what is best for our overall highest purpose. That brings us to the BIG PICTURE guidance system.

The second habit is BEGINNING WITH THE END IN MIND. That is exactly what Jesus did. He launched into his purpose with a public declaration of his ultimate aim—to reverse the curse humanity was saddled with and announce that freedom was God’s will and way. The ancient texts say it this way: “…for the joy set before him, he endured the Cross.” Death was not his vision. His vision was eternal freedom for men, something they could not produce for themselves.

What are you here on earth to do for others they cannot do for themselves? First, let’s complete the divorce with NYR. As great as they looked, they are mired in momentary things while we are eternal beings. Marry intention, have the offspring of purpose!

Want to know more? I’d love to answer your questions and even discuss these ideas. I have a more in-depth essay on this that I would like to get feedback on. Do you care to read and share your thoughts with me?

Phil